Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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