How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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