i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
