She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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