i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
