he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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