To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
