I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
