Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
