he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
