Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
