I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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