I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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