I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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