Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize