What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
