You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
