love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize