is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
