I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
