Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
