We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize