I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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