shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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