My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
