Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Randomize
