Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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