forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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