I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
