Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
