Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
