Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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