I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Randomize
