that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize