so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
