so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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