Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
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