oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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