You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Im part way to drunk.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
