I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
