escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize