so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I lost the right to judge tonight
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
