ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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