i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
