Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Only a mothe r could love this liver
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
