Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
