Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize