I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
