I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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