Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
