you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
i out mim tonsoeep
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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