That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
