I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Randomize
