adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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