i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
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