Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
