I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
