This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
