We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
