Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
worst night to have a conscience
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
