Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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