You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
