Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
