Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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