If that was your dad, he is hot
i think i have two assholes
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
