U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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