dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
