She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
they're like a gay fantastic four
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
