apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
