I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
