I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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