You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
