so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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