I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
