Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize