Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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