Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
