I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
