I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
