: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
