I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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