Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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