I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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